Milestone #1 - 3 months

Photo by Thomas Galler on Unsplash

It's come to the 3-month mark of my being in full-time ministry! As such, I felt moved to jot down my reflections of these past months and share this journey with you in the hopes of keeping me accountable of my time in ministry, and to also give glory to God for how He's been moving.

It's been quite a rollercoaster ride of ups and downs over the past 12 weeks, and certainly lots of stumbling around in the dark! One of the biggest challenges for me has been the transition from my office job of 9 years to a somewhat "freelance" one. Being in youth ministry, I have to set my own pace and schedule, and having only ever known an office job, I'm in new terrain without a physical guide, and hence struggle to know if I'm effective with my time. As such, there have been many moments of self-doubt in addition to the many other challenges along the way. However, upon further reflection, these struggles have ironically been a positive for me - I've been quite literally driven to my knees in prayer and have never felt this close to Jesus and dependent on Him. I've been pretty comfortable for most of my life, and having grown up singing "Lord, I Offer My Life" countless times, I've never really been put to the test, but now, songs like these have a real and tangible meaning to me.

Am I certain after these few months that full-time ministry is what I'm supposed to be doing? That's a question I still find hard to answer with certainty. It's generally hard to feel "effective" in ministry, especially when the fruits are often intangible and those that are, take shape in many different shapes and forms, and even that, over a long period of time. It can be frustrating that when I'm trying to organise the ministry and plan its direction, it's usually time for a meeting. But I guess this is what I'm supposed to be doing, and I feel God's been consistently reminding me to focus on what's more important - for me to be present to people - and He will provide the rest.

Finances for this ministry are also still a challenge - the largest part of our monthly crowdfunding is still going to support our pastoral worker's salary in her pastoral work with the little balance coming my way. While there's certainly not enough coming in at the moment to sustain my expenses (let alone my family's), I'm trusting that God will provide if this is truly His calling. I have come to reflect that this part of the journey - while certainly nerve-wrecking - has been truly necessary, at least for me - if the financial part of things had gone smoothly from the beginning, I wouldn't be depending so much on God's providence now and hence would have missed out on what has become a very important foundation for me. The Gospel reading a few days ago on Martha and Mary was an especially powerful reminder for me that I was worried about so many things, but in actual fact, only one was really needed - to sit at the feet of Jesus and to trust in Him.

Interestingly (though I probably shouldn't be so surprised by this), what started off as a personal commitment to a daily hour of prayer and mass has borne visible fruit! In fact, I have come to realise this has been the most "effective" and important part of the work that I do! Most days that I go for mass, there are between one to six students joining me, and there are already glimpses of fruits in the lives of the students, and *especially* in my own life. I generally notice a change in outlook for these students, some of whom have mentioned they feel God taking a more central role in their lives. On my end, I personally feel a lot more sensitive to the promptings of the Holy Spirit in my life and a much greater dependence on and surrender to God, and this has really led to the solid foundation being formed (and continuing to be formed) in me.

On the campus front, we currently have a small weekly men's group to read the Gospel of the day together, share about our week, and pray for one another, and this feels particularly fruitful, as the guys can be seen to be deepening their relationship with Jesus. We also just ran the same format for our first university men's group meeting three days ago which also felt fruitful, with some of them remarking how it was much needed! As such, while journeying further with these existing groups, I'm discerning God's timing to start more men's groups in the other campuses. We have also begun doing weekly prayer walks around a college/university with a few students to pray for the campus! I'm also working on putting down my thoughts on a Catholic Society's role in the campus as I have not been able to find anything that holistically and satisfactorily addresses it, especially in relation to the bigger context of the Church. The campus societies under our care seem lack overall direction, and appear to be struggling to stay alive.

I also recently felt moved to push for the formation of a table specifically for youth inquirers at RCIA: before this, youth inquirers were just mixed in with the older folks. As it is, it can be very difficult for a regular inquirer in RCIA to feel a sense of belonging to the faith - a common feeling I sense from them is that RCIA is just a class to attend once a week. It can be even more difficult for youth inquirers at a mixed table, as their voices tend to be drowned out by the older ones, and there's also the generational disconnect that can make the feeling worse. A dedicated table provides more opportunities for them to be listened to and gently introduces them to the idea of a Christian community, and thus helps them develop a personal relationship with Jesus better. The table which I'm currently facilitating consists of 7 inquirers ranging in age from 13 to 22, and while still not ideal, I'm guessing it's better than having an age range of 13 to 65! 😆

In summary, these past few months have certainly been filled with struggles, but at the same time, there have been visible fruits, and it's been an amazing time of growth for me - as a person, yes, but most importantly by far, in my own relationship with Jesus and faith in Him. I do continue to humbly ask for your prayers and support on this journey as I do keep you in my prayers as well. Thank you for reading all the way to the end, and till the next update and beyond, God bless!